Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
