i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
