u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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