Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
