Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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