It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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