don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
