i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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