butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
too bad you live with your parents still
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
