If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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