I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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