That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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