The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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