bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
