she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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