we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
