As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
