just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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