Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
