This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
