U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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