good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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