he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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