I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I've blown a few things in my day
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
