I intend to get homeless drunk
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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