ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize