He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
