I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
