whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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