dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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