We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He had one of those small greek statue penises
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
