i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
