Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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