I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
