i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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