I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
