considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
