i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
