hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It's just like the Real World with babies
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
