Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Randomize