he shaved USA in his pubs
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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