Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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