spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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