I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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