i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
