bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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