I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Randomize