im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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