I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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