$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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