Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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