I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
