My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
