you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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