I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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