we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
