Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
