You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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