im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Holy shit dude........stairs
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
