ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
