check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
