Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
