I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
