She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
