I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
its liver damage thursday
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
