Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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