I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
