so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
