I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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