she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
