I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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