Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
