No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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