Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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