I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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