No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I wish they made helmets for livers.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
