I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just high enough for therapy.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
