We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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