grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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