I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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