News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Randomize
